


Remember Me

by bubble_bobb



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Amnesia, Blow Jobs, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Kiss, M/M, Post-Break Up, and no beta we die like men, i have nothing to say other than I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:54:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24000094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubble_bobb/pseuds/bubble_bobb
Summary: Hongjoong knows that none of this would have happened if he just acted right.
Relationships: Choi San/Song Mingi, Jung Wooyoung/Kim Hongjoong
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	Remember Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello  
> I hope you enjoy  
> Lmk what you think  
> Take care
> 
> (Title: Victon: Remember Me)

A tear escapes his eye as he sits down on a stool by the bed, his whole figure shaking. This is his fault. If only he didn't let him go, this would have never happened. He would still be at home and safe, without any injury.

He doesn't even know _how_ it happened, Wooyoung came to take his things and hopefully talk to him but one thing lead to another and they got into an argument.

They have never barked at each other so loud with so many hateful words thrown in, Hongjoong doesn't know why this is happening to them. They used to be so happy, so full of life, they used to love each other.

When Wooyoung got fed up with him and their meaningless argument, his frustration clearly visible on his face, he stormed out, leaving all of his things behind at, what used to be, their house.

Hongjoong felt broken but he didn't chase after him, he never wanted Wooyoung to feel this way about him and doing that would probably make it worse. He then sat down on the couch and closed his eyes, trying not to cry. But it was hard. He loved Wooyoung more than anyone in the world. Wooyoung was his everything and this was something he never thought would happen to them.

The next thing he knew he was waking up, not remembering falling asleep in the first place, with Mingi calling him that Wooyoung was in the hospital. His heart stopped as soon as the words left the younger man's mouth, tears welling up in his eyes and breath catching in his throat.

He then quickly rushed where Mingi told him to, his vision a little blurry because of the tears. He knew it was dangerous to drive like that but he didn't care at the time. He just wanted to see Wooyoung. He wanted to be with him as soon as possible, it didn't matter to him how he would get there, he just wanted to be there. He rushed through the hospital once he arrived, trying to find Mingi.

He almost cried out when he saw him, his long and inviting arms wrapping around him when he was close enough for him to do so. He asked many questions, his words slurring together while Mingi calmly held him in his arms, his voice shaking as he answered what Hongjoong was asking.

And that's exactly how he ended up here, his hand hesitantly reaching for the other's, wanting to hold it to feel him. He wants to know he is okay, he wants to see him open his eyes and look at him, even if he starts pulling his hand away when he realizes who he is, he wants to be sure he is okay.

Mingi left a few minutes ago, feeling too tired to stay awake after basically crying his eyes and soul out. Hongjoong himself debated on leaving because he felt too weak but he decided against it. He had to stay, his brain and heart made him do so.

The man slowly drops his head, his eyes fixated on the floor. This is all his fault and he should be ashamed that he even let that happen, let alone to Wooyoung.

Movement and the slightest of squeezes around his hand makes him quickly lift his head and look up, tears that he didn't even know he was holding now running down his cheeks.

"Wooyoung."

He calls quietly, his hand shaking as it continues to hold Wooyoung's. His breath is shaking as the other man slowly turns his head to face him, his eyes fluttering open. His eyes open just slightly and Hongjoong's heart skips a beat.

"How are you feeling?"

He forces out, not wanting to just sit there and stare at the younger in silence. Wooyoung frowns softly, his eyes shifting to look at their hands before coming back to look into Hongjoong's, the frown deepening.

Hongjoong's heartbeat picks up as Wooyoung's lips part to talk, his breath coming out slow and controlled.

"I'm sorry but... do I know you?"

He quietly asks and Hongjoong's heart drops to the pit of his stomach, a cold and painful shiver running through his whole body. _No. No way._ He breathes in, new tears welling up in his eyes.

"I'm... I'm Hongjoong..."

He whispers, as if to convince himself that he is who he is. Wooyoung frowns again, his eyes suddenly looking apologetic. Hongjoong's breath catches in his throat and he lets out a quiet sound that resembles a whimper.

Wooyoung doesn't remember him. He doesn't remember anything about him. His heart is broken. He's not selfish if he says the things he has on his mind, right? He just wants them to be happy again.

Both of them were so joyful when they were together, he just wants all of those good times back. He wants his Wooyoung back.

"Your boyfriend."

He adds, the words heavy on his tongue, sudden guilt filling his mind for lying like that to the love of his life. He shouldn't do this but he misses him so damn much and his brain is already so messed up he can't think straight.

He can't tell what's wrong and what's right. Everything seems like a mixture of both and neither at the same time. Wooyoung's face turns in shock, his mouth opening to talk but closing again.

He carefully turns his head to look away, now looking confused. Hongjoong's heart is hammering against his ribcage, threatening to break with the force.

The young man turns back, frowning again.

"My boyfriend? I have a boyfriend?"

He questions, looking genuinely confused. Hongjoong's heart squeezes and he nods with a little bit of difficulty, knowing how wrong this all is. But it's also not in a way, right? Right?

"Y-Yeah, me."

He says, his heart clenching. Before the younger can question him any further a nurse and a doctor come in, making them both turn their attention to them and the doctor's words.

She tells them that after two weeks Wooyoung can be released, under the condition of having someone take care of him. The younger hesitantly turns to look at Hongjoong when the words leave the doctor's mouth, making his heart skip a beat.

The older man agrees and after two long weeks he is helping Wooyoung with all of his things and carefully seating him in the car.

The younger's blank stare is breaking Hongjoong apart, wondering what he might be thinking about. He still can't shake off this awful feeling.

For the past two weeks he was pacing around his house, his mind running wild. He wanted Wooyoung to move back in with him. The younger man still had some things in there and it wouldn't be hard getting his belongings back.

He knew it was wrong to think this way but he missed Wooyoung. He was always there, in the very back of his mind, making him remember him every day.

They broke up only a month ago but he is more than sure that Wooyoung doesn't remember that, making it easier for him to convince him that they are indeed in a relationship.

"Where are we?"

He hears Wooyoung's voice from beside him when they arrive to their house, the sound echoing in his head. He wants to hear more but he knows he has to answer him first. He smiles the slightest bit, sighing.

"We live here."

He tells him, momentarily turning his head to look at him before parking the car in the drive way. Wooyoung frowns, looking out of the window at the house, his lips pressed together in a thin line. Hongjoong's thoughts are all over the place, his heart beating hard and fast in his chest.

"We live together?"

Wooyoung asks after a while, getting out of the car. Hongjoong follows, stepping out and watching Wooyoung's every move with every single one of his senses on high alert. He nods, letting a small smile slip on his face.

"Yeah? We're dating after all."

He says, the smile falling off his face when Wooyoung turns to face him, his expression still blank and unreadable. He mentally slaps himself in the face for that. Wooyoung nods, more to himself than at Hongjoong and grabs his bag from the backseat of the car before Hongjoong can lock it.

"O-Okay."

He mumbles, slowly walking over to the front door and waiting for the older man so they can go inside. Hongjoong sighs, taking his things as well and locking the car, heading to Wooyoung to let him and then himself in the house.

Once inside they drop their stuff on the couch, sighing. Hongjoong looks up at Wooyoung, seeing him looking around the house with his face still expressionless. He frowns when his phone buzzes in his pocket, taking it out and excusing himself from Wooyoung when he sees the caller ID.

Wooyoung nods, sitting down onto the couch as Hongjoong leaves into the bedroom. He didn't expect Yeosang to call him so soon.

They talked a while ago, the younger asking him if everything was alright and if Wooyoung was okay and he told him he would call him once he got the chance to. Hongjoong answered all of his questions, understanding his concerns.

The younger man is an animator all the way in Japan so it was hard to find time to talk to his friends and family, especially Wooyoung since they were both busy with work most of the time. The two of them became friends in college, Wooyoung used to talk about Yeosang for hours and Hongjoong just listened and admired how pretty Wooyoung was when he was happy.

They have been best friends ever since so Hongjoong understood when Yeosang told him he got really worried because Wooyoung wouldn't pick up any of his calls or wouldn't reply to any of his messages for days when he finally contacted him because even when busy, Wooyoung would try his best to find time to reply to him.

Not long after picking up the call ends with Yeosang asking Hongjoong to take care of Wooyoung since he is the only one that knows him through and through out.

The words make Hongjoong's heart clench but he ignores it. He tells Yeosang not to worry and that he will take care of the younger.

He then hangs up and makes his way back into the living room, back to Wooyoung.

"Who was that?"

The younger man questions quietly, turning his head with his eyes fixated on Hongjoong's figure. Hongjoong puts his phone in his pocket, walking over but not sitting down next to the younger. He feels like he needs to give him space and not get close to him immediately. He sits on the armrest, letting his hands rest in his lap.

"Yeosang, your best friend."

He says and Wooyoung looks down, humming to himself. A string of his apparent best friend's name passes his lips and he shakes his head, looking back up into Hongjoong's eyes.

"I don't know any Yeosangs, I'm sorry."

He says, his tone sad and apologetic. Hongjoong shakes his head, reaching his hand out before pulling it back. He shouldn't touch him, not yet. The younger looks at his hand and then at his face in confusion, parting his lips to talk but getting cut off by Hongjoong speaking up.

"It's okay Woo, it takes time."

The younger then nods and Hongjoong gets up, looking at his watch and frowning. How is it so late already? He walks into the kitchen, leaning back only to ask Wooyoung if he is hungry. The man quickly nods, standing up from the couch and following Hongjoong into the kitchen.

The older smiles a little to himself, searching through the fridge to find something that would be good enough for dinner. After finding what he was looking he takes it out, putting it on the counter and beginning to make their meal.

"Do I have a job?"

Wooyoung suddenly asks as he takes a seat by the dinner table and Hongjoong holds himself from chuckling. It surely is not funny to Wooyoung so he shouldn't laugh. Nothing about it is funny. This is serious. He has to be serious as well.

"Yeah, you're a vocal teacher."

He tells him, turning around and leaning against the kitchen counter to face him fully. Wooyoung raises his eyebrows, a smile painted on his face. It makes Hongjoong's heartbeat stutter, a smile making its way on his own face. He almost forgot how beautiful Wooyoung is when he smiles.

"A teacher?"

"Yeah."

Hongjoong replies quickly, effortlessly, too lost in Wooyoung's smile and eyes to think about what to say.

"Do you have a job?"

Hongjoong nods before realizing he should probably talk and tell Wooyoung what he is instead of just nodding his head.

"I do, I'm a producer."

He says, turning back around to finish their dinner. Wooyoung hums.

"A producer... that's cool."

He says and even though Hongjoong can't see his face, his voice sounds genuine. He chuckles and nods, washing his hands in the sink to get all excess stuff off so he can continue cooking with clean hands.

Wooyoung continues to talk with a few more curious questions but Hongjoong understands and he is more than happy to answer them all as long as Wooyoung is talking to him.

When their meal is done and served Hongjoong sits down opposite the younger man, feeling oddly nervous. He doesn't know why he is nervous around Wooyoung. Why now?

They finish eating in no time, cleaning up and deciding on calling it a day.

Hongjoong pulls out his phone, remembering that Mingi texted him a while ago, asking if everything was going okay and if Wooyoung was alright.

"Do we... sleep together?"

Wooyoung questions shyly when they approach the staircase that leads upstairs and Hongjoong nods without a second thought. He answers with a "We do", frowning at the silence that follows. He looks up from his phone and freezes when he sees the nervous look in Wooyoung's eyes.

"B-But I'm going to take the couch, don't worry about it."

Wooyoung smiles and nods, still nervously playing with the hem of his sweater.

"T-Thank you."

He whispers and Hongjoong looks at him in confusion, locking his phone and putting it into his back pocket.

"For what?"

He asks, a little confused.

"Understanding."

Wooyoung sighs, his eyes sparkling prettily under the ugly yellow light of the room. Hongjoong nods his head, heading to the couch and pulling out a blanket and a pillow.

"No problem."

He says, smiling fondly at the younger before showing him where exactly the bedroom is and wishing him a good night. He sighs deeply once he closes the door, walking quietly down the stairs and sitting down onto the couch. He pulls out his phone again, swiping on a message notification on his screen.

 **[Mingi | 9:34]:**  
glad he's fine  
in a way

Hongjoong sighs, nodding to himself and typing on his keyboard. His fingers are shaking as he slowly writes down the words.

 **[Hongjoong | 9:48]**  
Mingi...  
I'm scared

 **[Mingi | 9:48]**  
what?  
why?

Hongjoong's eyes tear up. _What if he finds out?_ is what he wants to say but he knows he can't. That would raise questions from Mingi's side and he wouldn't know the answer to any of them.

 **[Hongjoong | 9:50]**  
what if he grows to hate me?  
I wouldn't be able to handle that

He wouldn't. When they broke up he was at his lowest point in life because he knew Wooyoung didn't love him anymore.

 **[Mingi | 9:52]**  
don't worry hyung, he won't hate you  
Sannie says hi  
goodnight

Hongjoong smiles, letting out a little breathless chuckle.

 **[Hongjoong | 9:53]**  
tell him I said hi back  
goodnight

He sighs, laying out his pillow and blanket before slipping under it and making himself comfortable. What if Mingi is wrong? What if Wooyoung will actually hate him? If only this never happened, he wouldn't have to worry about things like this.  
  
  
  


As days turn into weeks Hongjoong starts to notice how comfortable Wooyoung is becoming around him. It makes him happy, knowing that Wooyoung trusts him at least a little bit and that he is still willing to live with him even though he doesn't remember him. It makes him happy, knowing that Wooyoung doesn't see him as just some stranger anymore.

Hongjoong looks out of the kitchen window, leaning against the counter and sipping from his mug. It's on days like this that he can't help but feel _good_. It's cloudy, with the sun barely even there, but nowhere near rainy, the wind is blowing but it's gentle and soothing. It's only three in the afternoon but the world outside seems like it has come to a stop with no one in sight.

He looks over his shoulder, seeing Wooyoung sitting by the table with his laptop opened in front of him, a video faintly playing from the speakers. Hongjoong smiles. He looks adorable. He lifts the mug, bringing it to his lips, looking at Wooyoung through his lashes. The younger pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, looking at Hongjoong when he clears his throat.

"Can I... take you out?"

The older asks hesitantly, unsure of what Wooyoung might say. The other man looks at him in slight shock, opening his mouth to talk while smiling. Hongjoong's heart is slowly but surely melting in his chest but he can't bring himself to care about anything other than Wooyoung and the way his eyes form pretty crescent moons whenever he smiles. He always knew about it but it somehow seems more magical and beautiful now.

"Well, I mean, you're my boyfriend so... I guess."

Hongjoong smiles at the way the word _boyfriend_ rolls off Wooyoung's tongue, setting his mug into the sink and making his way into the living room.

"Great, get ready then."

"Wait, we're going now? Like, right now?"

Wooyoung asks, quickly standing up from his chair and following Hongjoong to their bedroom.

After days, if not weeks, Wooyoung was comfortable enough to share the bedroom with Hongjoong, having their assigned halves of the bed that they would sleep on. It made Hongjoong feel good, knowing Wooyoung trusted him now.

Hongjoong laughs and nods opening the door and walking over to the closet to open it. He reaches back and grabs the collar of his shirt to pull it over his head, shaking it to get rid of the hair in his eyes. He turns to face the younger man when he notices him looking at him from the corner of his eye.

"What?"

He asks and Wooyoung's eyes widen as he shakes his head, turning to face the closet and search through his clothes, mumbling a quiet "Nothing" under his breath. Hongjoong grins, reaching for a shirt and a hoodie to put on.

Once he puts on his jeans and notes that Wooyoung is also ready to go he takes his keys, phone and wallet and tells Wooyoung to follow him. The younger nods, following him outside and then walking by his side as they get on their way.

"Where are we going?"

Wooyoung asks after a few minutes of silence, making Hongjoong smile a little.

"Han river."

He answers simply and Wooyoung smiles, nodding his head. He seems happy with Hongjoong's choice of place and that makes the older man feel a little less nervous. He still doesn't know why he is the way he is when he is with Wooyoung. He shouldn't be nervous, he should be happy, the love of his life is back. He has to be happy.

"Hyung?"

Wooyoung's voice makes his train of thoughts come to a stop and he looks over at the younger, smiling, making him continue. Wooyoung swallows thickly, running his hand through his hair before letting it fall to his side again. He holds it out and Hongjoong's heart skips a beat, breath stuttering.

"Can I hold your hand?"

He asks hesitantly and Hongjoong nods, hoping he doesn't look too eager to hold the younger's hand. Wooyoung smiles, taking Hongjoong's smaller hand into his and giving it a light squeeze when their fingers interlock. Hongjoong doesn't know if it is because Wooyoung's hand are cold or not but he would like to think it's something else.

They continue walking, the older man's mind being all over the place. He would like to think Wooyoung is starting to feel something towards him, which makes him happy, because he wanted that to happen. He wanted to make Wooyoung fall for him again.

Shortly after they leave their house they get to their destination, the sky getting darker and darker as they walk through the small park and then close to the railing by the side of the river. Wooyoung then lets go of Hongjoong's hand, making him frown at the loss of warmth. He sighs and leans against the railing, looking around with a smile making its way on his face.

"This is where we first met, and had our first date, it was... beautiful..."

He says happily, his voice dying down towards the end, catching Wooyoung's attention. The younger steps closer, nodding while looking at the Hangang bridge. He really likes the pretty lights and they way they reflect in the water. Hongjoong sighs again, deeper, wrapping his fingers around the railing and tapping it lightly.

"You were beautiful."

He says, making Wooyoung turn his head back to look at him. His face looks a little shocked and Hongjoong panics at the sight.

"I'm sorry... I... I just missed this, I missed you."

He explains, freezing when Wooyoung shifts a little closer, running his fingers through Hongjoong's hair before pushing a strand behind his ear to free his eyes. Hongjoong knows his face is slowly turning redder and redder so he is grateful for how dark it became since they left their house.

"It's okay, I'm sure you were beautiful too."

He says pulling his hand back while smiling. Hongjoong's heart jumps to his throat, his eyes tearing up a little. The younger man's words hurt him and he can't figure out why. He should be happy those words even cross Wooyoung's mind not be hurt by them.

He reaches up and gently takes Wooyoung's hand, bringing his own close to it before trying to cover it in his hands, biting his lip momentarily. After releasing the flesh from his teeth he looks up, blindly intertwining his fingers with Wooyoung's. It makes him smile when he doesn't pull his hand away.

"Wooyoung, I know this is going to sound weird to you because you don't remember me that well but... I love you, I love you so much, please, stay with me."

The words make weight get lifted off his chest but he still feels odd. He wants to feel good, just be okay, why can't he just be fine? Wooyoung frowns at his words, his hand still holding Hongjoong's.

"What do you mean?"

He asks and Hongjoong shakes his head, his mind too messy to think of an explanation for his words at the moment.

"Just, don't leave me, please."

He tells him, his other hand raising up to carefully stroke the younger man's face. Wooyoung doesn't pull back and that makes Hongjoong calm down the slightest bit, knowing he isn't doing something the other doesn't want. After a few seconds Wooyoung nuzzles his hand and smiles.

"I'll try my best, hyung."

He says and Hongjoong gulps thickly, running his thumb along Wooyoung's cheekbone, pushing his glasses up his nose. He licks his lips before parting them to talk again.

"Can I kiss you?"

Wooyoung stays still, his mouth slightly opened for a minute. He takes another long minute before nodding, his eyes fluttering shut when Hongjoong slowly leans up. The kiss is soft and gentle, Hongjoong's fingers threading through Wooyoung's hair.

After a little while they pull apart, breathing in as their eyes meet again. Not even a second after pulling away Wooyoung leans back in, capturing the older's lips in another kiss.

Hongjoong responds right away, pulling Wooyoung closer to himself and cupping his cheek. He turns his head, deepening the kiss and putting a little bit more pressure into it. Wooyoung's arms sneak around his waist and he hold the younger's face in his hands, his mind being all over the place.

He lets Wooyoung take control over the kiss, leaning into him, feeling his hands tighten their grip on his waist before loosening up again and traveling lower. He pulls away before the younger can put his hands anywhere else than his lower back, adjusting his glasses with a deep blush covering both of their faces.

"I think we should go home..."

Hongjoong says quietly and Wooyoung nods, letting go of him and stepping back. They slowly get on their way back, walking down the dimly lit and empty streets with light steps.

Hongjoong internally sighs. Did that really just happen or was he just hallucinating? None of it seemed real. But the feeling of Wooyoung's lips against his felt the same as before. That same addicting warm feeling and sweet taste.

He should be happy, and he is, but something inside him is telling him that it wasn't enough. That the kiss they shared was nearly not enough for him. He knows Wooyoung might not feel the same he does but something about him also seems off. He looks happy and excited, his face is redder than usual and his eyes are fixated on the ground. Hongjoong smiles, it's cute.

He reaches his hand out but pulls it back when he sees their house come into view. They must be walking fast. Hongjoong makes his way to the front door, unlocking it and letting Wooyoung get inside first. They kick off their shoes, walking up the stairs into the bedroom, closing the door behind them.

The two men sit on the bed, nervously looking around. Hongjoong would laugh if he saw this happening, it's ridiculous. He turns his head, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks when he sees Wooyoung's eyes are already on him. He looks away and freezes when he feels a hand cup his jaw, turning his head back.

A faint call of his name rings in his ears and before he can react to it Wooyoung leans in closer, their lips pressed together again. He stays still for a moment, trying to process his current situation. He only snaps back when Wooyoung pulls away, his eyes hooded and breath coming out in short huffs.

He then leans back in, kissing the older harder. This time Hongjoong responds immediately, asking for entrance right away. The younger gladly gives him the permission, a barely audible pleased noise being shared between them.

Hongjoong is the first one to pull back, doing so because of the burn and lack of oxygen in his lungs.

"C-Can I touch you?"

Hongjoong asks, voice and body shaking as he shifts a little closer. Wooyoung stays still, breathing heavily with his pupils blown. The sight makes Hongjoong shiver. Wooyoung then nods.

"Please do."

He breathes out, pulling Hongjoong closer and pressing their lips together again. The older man eagerly kisses him back, gently pushing at his chest to make him lay down on his back and crawling on top of him. Wooyoung pulls back after a few seconds, his eyes scanning Hongjoong's face.

"Are you sure you want me to continue?"

Hongjoong asks, still searching for Wooyoung's consent. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he was doing something the other didn't want to do. Wooyoung quickly nods, his fingers tangling in Hongjoong's hair.

"A thousand percent."

He says, smiling slightly. Hongjoong nods his head, leaning down to peck the younger's lips softly. He then pulls back, still hovering over Wooyoung. It feels so familiar and yet so strange.

He was in this position before. Wooyoung was here before but he obviously doesn't remember. Hongjoong swallows thickly, he always loved to look at Wooyoung and admire all the little details he missed from above. He loved when Wooyoung would say his name, he was happy when Wooyoung loved him.

He shakily reaches up, taking Wooyoung's glasses between his fingers and carefully pulling them off, setting them on the nightstand. The younger's eyes follow his hand before coming back to lock with his.

Hongjoong then helps him sit up, pulling his shirt over his head and dropping it on the floor. His hoodie and shirt follow as he takes it off, letting it join the growing pile of clothing on the floor.

Wooyoung's hands find their way to his waist when he leans back down, cold fingers making a shiver run down his spine. Hongjoong trails kisses down the man's neck to his collarbones, continuing down his chest and toned stomach. Wooyoung's breath hitches and Hongjoong looks up, his fingers tracing the lines of his belt.

Wooyoung quickly nods and Hongjoong unbuckles the belt, unbuttoning his jeans and taking them off so he can drop them on the floor as well. He notices the way Wooyoung shivers and he smiles, running his hands down his thighs.

"Can I?"

Hongjoong asks, his fingers slipping behind the elastic of Wooyoung's boxers. Wooyoung breathes out a quick "Yeah", lifting his hips to help Hongjoong take off his last piece of clothing. The older turns his head to press a kiss to the other man's inner thighs, lightly biting down.

Wooyoung hisses, moving his hands into Hongjoong's hair as he moves further up and closer to where he wants him. Hongjoong glances up for the last time before pressing a kiss to the head of Wooyoung's length, his own twitching at the lewd sound that leaves his lips.

The younger man's fingers tighten in Hongjoong's hair and the older has to hold himself back from hissing. He then looks up through his lashes, taking Wooyoung into his mouth, feeling butterflies flutter around in his stomach when Wooyoung throws his head back with a breathy call of his name.

Hongjoong likes this, but who wouldn't. Wooyoung is beautiful and having him all spread out like that, with his head thrown back and chest already heaving is a sight everyone wants to see. And he is the one who gets to live in the moment and he is the one who gets to make Wooyoung like that. And he loves it. He loves the fact that he gets to be the person that is making Wooyoung feel good.

So he doesn't pay any attention to his gag reflex kicking in when the younger man bucks his hips up to get deeper, hitting the back of his throat. He doesn't mind it. He wants Wooyoung to enjoy this and he is willing to ignore all of those things as long as the younger man feels satisfied.

He continues, bobbing his head, watching every little expression change on Wooyoung's face. He knows what buttons to push and when to make it enjoyable for him. He wraps a hand around the area where his mouth doesn't reach, hollowing his cheeks and starting to move his head a little faster. His erection is straining in his jeans but he doesn't care if he doesn't get to finish tonight, as long as the younger man does, he is fine.

Soon he can feel Wooyoung shaking and twitching on his tongue. It makes him frown a little. The younger could usually last longer than that, both of them could, so it confuses him a little. Has he not slept with anyone since their first separation? Was he feeling things similar to what Hongjoong himself was feeling? Has he missed him as well?

"H-Hyung... don't stop, please."

Wooyoung quietly begs under his breath and Hongjoong hums, moving faster. He shouldn't space out like that, at least not now. He's trying to please Wooyoung, he shouldn't think at all.

"I'm gonna come..."

Wooyoung whimpers out a warning and Hongjoong hums again, sending vibrations up the younger's whole body. He breathes in deeply, sinking down on Wooyoung's length and taking him as far as he possibly can, fighting his gag reflex the best he can. The other man seems to like that by the way he tugs at Hongjoong's hair, breathy moans falling from his mouth.

One of his hands leaves Hongjoong's hair to grab the sheets instead, his back arching as he reaches his orgasm. Hongjoong furrows his brows but doesn't pull away. He lets Wooyoung come down from his high, pulling back when his other hand falls down from his hair.

He sits up, swallowing thickly, his face turning a little. He never liked the taste and he probably never will but he will bear through it, because it's Wooyoung's.

He then stands up to clean up the little mess they made, waving off Wooyoung's words about his own release. He doesn't need it, at least not right now.

When he's done cleaning up and they are both dressed in a new pair of clothes, he lays down on his side of the bed, turning to his side to face the closet. They won't regret this, right? Is it too late to think about that now? Maybe it was a mistake.

A sudden pair of arms around his waist makes him stop thinking and he looks over his shoulder to only see the mess of hair that Wooyoung owns. The younger has his face hidden in the crook of his neck and the sight itself makes Hongjoong smile a little bit.

"I think I love you."

The older man freezes. Did he hear that correctly? Wooyoung loves him? He should be happy, that's what he wanted, but he feels awfully guilty for some reason.  
  
  
  


Months pass and Hongjoong starts to enjoy Wooyoung's company even more. The younger made sure he told Hongjoong about his feelings the day after that night and the older had to hold himself from crying. He was happy, he was over joyed but something in the back of his head kept telling him this was wrong. He ignored it at the time but as days went by he began feeling worse and worse whenever Wooyoung would tell him he loved him. He would always say it back, and he meant it, but it felt wrong.

Hongjoong sits on the couch with a smile, supporting his head on his hand as he leans on the armrest, facing San. The younger man has finally visited them after weeks of saying he would but Hongjoong understands. He himself is busy with work all the time so he fully understands why it took so long.

At first San told him he would just drop by to say hello and check up on them to see if both of them were okay but when he arrived, and found out that Wooyoung was still at work, Hongjoong urged him to stay before the younger came home. It made him smile when he told him, knowing that San cared about both of them.

He parts his lips to talk but before he can say a single word he hears the keys in the lock and then the sound of it turning. He looks up to see Wooyoung walking inside their house and toeing off his shoes. He excuses himself from San, getting a dimpled smile and a nod.

He then walks into the hall, his footsteps making Wooyoung look up at him from his shoes. The younger smiles and pauses in taking off his jacket, leaning closer. Hongjoong doesn't remember how this became a habit of theirs but a greeting kiss was something he always looked forward to.

He cups the man's face, leaning in to peck his lips. Wooyoung smiles when he pulls back again, finally taking off his jacket and hanging it up. He takes Hongjoong's hand and follows him into the living room, his smile only getting wider when he sees San sitting in one of the armchairs.

"Oh hey."

He says, getting a smile and a wave as a greeting from the older. He and Hongjoong then sit down on the couch, their fingers still intertwined. It makes San narrow his eyes, shifting his eyes between Hongjoong and Wooyoung. He opens his mouth to talk, making their heads turn so they can look at him as he speaks. His expression makes a shiver run down Hongjoong's spine.

"Didn't you guys-"

"San."

Hongjoong warns, making Wooyoung turn to look at him instead. He knows what San wants to say. He knows but he can't let that happen. Not now, not ever.

"What? I just wanted to know if you're back together after all of this."

San blurts out and Hongjoong's heart skips a beat or two. His eyes tear up when he feels Wooyoung's hold on his hand loosen up and he turns to face him fully. Wooyoung has a soft frown settled on his face and Hongjoong feels his stomach turn. He never thought this day would come. He _hoped_ it would never come.

"Back together?"

Wooyoung asks, confusion visible on his face. Hongjoong opens his mouth to talk but he closes it again. He has nothing to say. What would he even say? How is he going to explain himself? Is there even an explanation?

"Woo, I...."

He starts, watching Wooyoung's face change with every word that leaves his mouth.

"I'm sorry."

Is all he gets out, the tears threatening to fall. He messed up. He knows it. How could he actually think that being that selfish is okay?

"We... We broke up?"

Wooyoung's voice is shaking and Hongjoong's heart is slowly breaking apart, hearing the love of his life so confused and very clearly hurt without knowing what hurt him. He wants to apologize but he knows he has no right to. There is no apology that would make up for what he had done.

"But you told me... you said were my boyfriend, you never said anything about breaking up with me."

Wooyoung's eyes are watering and switching between San and Hongjoong. He looks so confused and broken, Hongjoong wants to explain himself but his own body won't let him. He opens his mouth but finds out it's useless because no sound comes out when he tries to talk.

"You lied to me."

The words feel like knives but Hongjoong can only stare at Wooyoung as tears make their way down his cheeks. They flow harder as he slowly puts everything together, his face dropping in disappointment.

"I can't believe this, I-I let you touch me..."

Wooyoung whispers, looking away and covering his mouth with one of his hands. He's crying now and Hongjoong wants to reach his hand out and comfort him and apologize but that would only make it worse.

"It's not what you think."

Hongjoong manages to get out but it's quiet, he doubts the younger heard him say it. The older turns to look at San, seeing his eyes are wide open and face is looking apologetic. Wooyoung then suddenly gets up, Hongjoong's eyes following his moves as he walks around the couch.

"I don't want to be around you anymore... I was stupid enough to tell you I loved you."

Wooyoung mumbles, more to himself than Hongjoong but the words are loud and clear in the older's ears. It makes him stand up to his feet as well, walking over to the younger and grabbing his wrist to make him look at him. Weren't they happy? Even like this? Wasn't everything okay when they were together?

"Wooyoung, I didn't mean to-"

"I don't care, did you think that just because I don't remember anything you can use me like this?"

Wooyoung asks, obviously upset. Hongjoong frowns and tries to answer but no words come out, only silence. Wooyoung raises his eyebrows in disbelief. Hongjoong broke him, he knows it.

"Did you?"

He asks and Hongjoong frowns deeper, letting go of Wooyoung's wrist.

"Of course not!"

He says sternly. It's a lie but it also isn't. He doesn't know what to say anymore. He has nothing to say. Wooyoung will hate him after all of this. The younger man tilts his head, another tear escaping his eye.

"Of course... I'm done."

He scoffs turning around to walk down the hall towards the hangers where his jacket and shoes are. Hongjoong sighs.

"Wooyoung, please..."

He calls out, reaching his hand out again and taking Wooyoung's wrist into his hand only for the younger to yank it back.

"No, don't touch me, I'm leaving."

He says and Hongjoong's world stops for a moment. _No_. He wants to stop Wooyoung from leaving but his body won't listen. All he can do is stand there and watch as his world crumbles because of one simple question. What was he even thinking when he told Wooyoung they were together? What kind or relationship did he have in mind? How could they work if there is no trust whatsoever now? Were they ever truly happy to begin with?

"D-Don't leave, please, I love you."

He says, silently sobbing. He doesn't remember letting himself cry but he doesn't even care about that now. Wooyoung faces him, eyebrows raised and eyes wide.

"Do you? Or is that a lie too?"

He questions loudly and Hongjoong's heart stops momentarily. He understands why Wooyoung is doubting him, hell, he would even doubt himself if he was in his position and if he wasn't so sure of his words. Wooyoung scoffs again and Hongjoong feels himself shake.

"I don't believe a single word that leaves your mouth anymore."

He says finally, walking past Hongjoong to the front door. The older tries to stop him but before he can even touch him the door slams shut. Hongjoong's hand slowly falls back to his side and he chokes on a cry as he sinks down to his knees, hitting the hard and cold floor.

 _No_ _t_ _again._

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Twitter? (ateezlvruwu)


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